How To Attract A Woman

     I should have titled this post "How Not To Be A Total Douchebag", or "How Not To Turn A Woman Into  A Lesbian".  It's gotten bad---real bad.  What we have here, people, is an epidemic of retarded men who have no idea how to act and who act as if they've had no home training whatsoever.  I sit here with my glass of Sailor Jerry rum ( by the way, I tried to put a text ad here for Sailor Jerry rum in, but it wouldn't work---that's how much I love it---try it, mix it with Coke, it tastes like Dr. Pepper, and it's 92 proof).  I had to get a buzz and relax, that's how worked up I get about this subject.  I get angry.  I blame both feminism and deadbeat dads.

      I blame feminism because it backfired.  The statistics I've read cite that 12% of feminists are lesbian.  I think that number is extremely low---they polled just over 8,000 feminists.  Most of the feminists in high positions in feminist organizations such as The National Organization For Women (NOW), are in fact lesbian---they don't have to deal with men on a romantic basis.  I don't mind admitting it, I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. I wanted men to let me have equal employment rights, not beat me, not sexually harass me, but I still wanted them to open the car door for me, pay the tab when they ask me out on a date, and call me to ask me out on a date.  I don't want to call a man---he calls me to ask me out, if we agree to dutch, that's fine, other than that, if you ask me out---you pay, and for God's sake, open the car door for me---and furthermore, when in a party of three or more---I'm gonna sit in the goddamned front seat.  Yes, I want equal rights as a human being, but if you want to have sex with me, you are going to live up to certain standards of how a man treats a lady ( and by the way, for all the women reading this---if you want a man to treat you like a lady, you damn sure have to act like one--in public anyway...).  I'm not very old, but I guess I still hold certain old-fashioned tenets very dear----you can knock that if you want, but the bottom line is: it can get you laid.


     I blame deadbeat dads as well.  In the U.S, we live in a society with a percentage as high as 80% of male youths that feel estranged from their fathers.  These young men are not being taught how to relate to women, and not being taught by example of how to treat women in a way that not only benefits the women, but the young men in question. In situations where the father is completely absent (40%), these young men are not being taught how to be men.  What they do learn is being taught by the mothers, or by stepfathers, whom they usually have little to no bond with emotionally. Among certain surviving tribal customs, once the male youth reaches a certain age, he is taken from his mother, often in a mock abduction/murder. ritual, in which he is then whisked off with his father and/or many men from the tribe to learn to be a man, and learn a man's role in his society.  The tribal perspective during this ritual is that the boy dies, but yet, the man is born in his place.  This may, at first glance, seem somewhat brutal.  However, when asked about this ritual, most men will say that this had been the single most transformative and beneficial experience of their lives.  While we, in our society, cannot go to this extreme,  I hope I am making a point as to the benefits of having a strong male role model in a young male's life.


 With all this sociological mumbo-jumbo being said, I will proceed here to tell you what I have gleaned from my years in dealing with men.  I feel I am more than qualified to advise on the subject.  I spent more than ten years as an exotic dancer, and dealt with men of every shape, size and variety.  Many will claim that this only gives a certain "scummier" cross-section of men for the basis of my opinions.  I disagree.  I dealt with all men: rich men, poor men, married men, single men, young men, old men, hetero men, in-the-closet gay men, out of the closet gay men ( a strip club is a great place to meet horny, vulnerable straight guys---so I've been told), men of religious faith even.  Sex and sexual enticement are universal needs, therefore, I feel that the basis for my opinions are in fact, universal.


     1.  MANNERS ARE NOT OLD-FASHIONED, THEY'RE JUST PLAIN SEXY
    Yes, manners are not old-fashioned, they're just plain sexy.  You don't have to be weak or unmanly to use manners with a woman.  Talk to her like a lady, even if she isn't.  Even if she's acting like a bitch or talking like a sailor, hold yourself to this standard.  Use this rule always with women. even if you don't plan on fucking them.  Your reputation will precede you eventually.  Open her car door, pull her chair out, pay for her drink, pay the tab at dinner if you asked her out.  Always speak to her with respect---I should pause here to note that if she likes you to call her a "dirty, slutty whore" when you're fucking her, by all means, oblige her--but any other time, hold to the rule. Don't curse alot or talk to her as if you are in the locker room. I should also pause here to state that you should restrict certain behaviors you do with "the boys" around women.  If you want to light your farts on fire, by all means, do so, but not when you are within 500 yards of any woman!!!  Although some women hold higher standards than others,  it's still gross and off-putting to any woman---even if she doesn't show it.

     2.  HAVE SOME BALLS!
     Even if you feel very insecure by something she's done or said, for God's sake, don't show it.  I can't tell you how bad it grosses me out for a guy to say something even remotely in the realm of,  "Do you really like me, or are you just playing me?" or "Did you really cum, or were you just faking it?" or "Do you wanna fuck that guy I saw you talking to?".  First of all, there's no point whatsoever to any of those questions.  If she's playing you, she was faking it, or she wants to fuck the other guy, chances are she's not going to tell you... so don't even bother.  Confidence is a huge aphrodisiac.  It can overcome many odds that would have you at home by yourself whacking off in front of the computer otherwise.  There was one of my boyfriends in particular who was not very physically attractive.  He had red hair, freckles, an untoned, pale,squishy body, not to mention a very small penis.  When I showed my friends a picture of him, they were appalled....until they met him.  After they met him, they all loved him, and I could tell a few were sexually attracted to him.  The reason was his confidence and charm.  This can make up for alot.  When I say 'confidence' I certainly don't mean for you to be an arrogant, ego-maniacal dickhead---there's a middle ground there.  Don't be a pussy, but don't be an arrogant prick either.

      3. IF YOU WANT A WOMAN, BE SEEN IN THE COMPANY OF OTHER WOMEN.
     You cannot underestimate the power of this tip alone.  Women are possessive creatures.  If they see you with other women they are going to at least believe you are tolerable.  Besides that, there are a huge amount of women who get off on taking the attention from other women and shifting the balance in their direction.  In their mind, not only do you like them and find them attractive, you like them more than the other woman and find them more attractive than the other woman.  The ideal scenario would be to go out with one or two attractive female friends, have fun with them.  Make sure the target of your seduction sees you with them, and then move in for the kill.  Strike up a conversation,  flirt (use your manners!). Don't drool over her or tell her over and over agin how hot she is..ad nauseum. When she asks you about the other girl/s ( and she will if she saw you and if she's interested), simply say that you are good friends and invite her to your table.  It should be easy from that point on.

     4. DRESS WELL.
    Many people will give this same advice, but they make it seem as if you have to be wearing a suit and tie to get a woman.  If you're a punk---be a punk!  If you're a thug---be a thug!  But, dress well for whatever your style is.  There's no reason you can't have nice looking clothes for whatever your style or budget, or smell nice, or have well kept facial hair.  And it's not because all women are gold-diggers (although some are, and this rule will definitely help you where those particular women are concerned) and are looking for these cues.  If you look nice and stand out from the crowd, you will get noticed.  If you look like a bum or conduct yourself like a bum, you're going to get treated as such.

     5. BECOME THE PURSUED.
     This is tricky, but put yourself in an attractive woman's place.  You go out and within the first hour, you've got 50 guys that come up to you and they all, more or less, are coming at you with the same approach, "You are sooo HOT!!", "You are the hottest girl here!", "Can I buy you a drink?".  Now what if there's a guy that doesn't do that right from the start?  He strikes up a conversation, he's polite, he's confident, but he hasn't once hit on you, told you how hot you are, or offered to buy you a drink.  What's going on?  He talks to you a few more minutes AND THEN HE POLITELY LEAVES!!  He walks off, still without bothering to verify that you are the most beautiful creature in the place and that he is overcome by uncontrollable lust just by merely being in your presence.  What reaction do you think this is going to produce?  Women are driven by the need for attention and approval.  Usually this is no problem for them.  When they don't get this from an otherwise qualified man, this creates an unsatisfied need.  Back to the scenario, once he walks away, if you are woman you are not going to be able to get this off your mind.  Doesn't he think you are beautiful?  Was it something you did?  Something you said?  Does your ass look fat in these jeans?  After some time, he finally returns.  By this time you are intrigued.  He has created a need for attention and approval and it is your instinct at this point to pursue that need.  By this time, it is the woman who will initiate flirtatious behavior. Let her, and respond in kind, taking care to keep control of the situation and not overdo it.  Be an alpha male---stay in control and let her come to you.  Of course, eventually, you will want to give her the approval and attention she craves but not too soon, only after she's already hooked, and not all at once---in small increments.  The rest should be a piece of cake.

  I hope these tips are helpful.  I must say, in my experience, they honestly do work.  Practice makes perfect!As always, let me know how it works out.  I've been told that comments aren't working on my blog so I'm posting my email in the meantime.  Keep in touch.  Hope everyone had a sexy New Year!!