The Sexual Resolution

     Every year, we make resolutions for the same old things, our health, our finances, our attitudes...I've never heard anyone make a New Year's resolution to improve their sex life, but let's face it sex is a big part of most people's lives.

     When our sex life is great, we are more contented and happy and more able to face challenges that we are presented with.  Ever heard anyone tell who's grumpy that they need to get laid?  They may very well be on to something.  Invigorating, awesome sexual exertion causes the release of endorphins in the brain, which causes a giddy, or contented feeling.  But the contented feeling doesn't just go away within a few minutes.  Great sex can actually adjust the chemicals in your brain, which can have many benefits, such as stress reduction, fighting off depression, adapting to difficult situations more easily and handling problems more efficiently...and it can last for hours or even days.

   While you're listing resolutions for the other areas in your life, why not make a resolution to do something everyday with the intention of improving your sex life.  Do things that will make you feel sexier: lose weight, get a sexy haircut, dress up more.  Commit to trying new things: try phone sex, try role-play, try domination or submission.  It's not important that you like these things or plan on making them a normal part of your sex life. What's important is that you've had a new experience.  Be adventurous!  You just may find that you like doing something you previously never dreamed you would.  And what the hell, at least this resolution won't be a boring tedious chore.  I guarantee you'll have fun sticking to this resolution.  Happy New Year!!!

On Letting Yourself Go...

         I'm doing this post by request, but I feel that it's a very relevant topic, to both men and women.  I've been guilty of it.  I'm sure many men and women have been guilty of it...letting yourself go.  I've been asked whether it was a pro or a con as far as relationships go.  The only truthful answer is " both".  When you start a relationship with someone, you want to look your best, show the best side of yourself that you possibly can.  You like this person, care about their opinions.  If they saw you at your worst, that may affect their opinion of you.  If they saw you without your makeup on or your legs shaved, they may not think of you as the enchantress you're trying to portray in order to secure their love.  Wearing makeup or shaving your legs. or face, or bleaching your mustache, or not farting or burping in front of your partner...all those things are not our natural state of being.  They are all part of a human mating ritual we do to ensure procreation and make ourselves more attractive to the opposite sex.

     When we let down our guard and cease doing these things, it is actually a sign of trust.  "I trust you to see me as I am, and love me anyway.".  In all actuality, that is a gift.  However, when you let yourself gain weight to an unhealthy degree, or cease doing thing that consist of taking care of 'you', and pampering yourself, this is where you should draw the line.

     In my last post, I made a comment regarding men "getting lazy", once they have us.  Well, we can be guilty of the same.  I know I have.  When I met my boyfriend,  I wore a different set of lingerie to bed every night, complete with heels and stockings.  Once I was sufficiently sure he wasn't going to leave me if my bra and panties didn't match, I stopped worrying about it.  If I forgot to shave, or color my roots...or if I went to bed in a mu-mu...no big deal.  He still loves me right?  Yeah,  he still loved me, but he was disenchanted with me.  He made comments that I would get dressed up to go out, but never just for him.  And so ensued a huge argument: He had "gained weight" and made no attempt to lose it, why was he picking on me?

     Eventually, we stopped arguing about it, but not much changed.  He kept the weight, I continued wearing the mu-mu, or sweatpants or whatever...then we ended up breaking up.  To some, it may not have seemed like the break up was directly related, but after much thought, I came to the conclusion that the fact that we had both gotten "too comfortable", had everything to do with it.  All the mystery had gone.  The veil had been lifted and what lay beyond was an overweight, burly faced, burping, farting douchebag and a nagging, bitching, mu-mu wearing, hairy-legged hag.  Appealing?  Not really.

  You can knock it all you want, but it's a proven fact that attractive people get all the perks.  Attractive people are more likely to get certain jobs, and more likely to get promotions within those jobs.  They are more likely to have better relationships with attractive people, who are more likely to have better paying jobs, which ensures a higher standard of living... are you beginning to see the trend here?  Most men state that they would be more likely to try harder to please an attractive person in a relationship, than an unattractive person, and vice versa with women.  I don't mean to say that unless you look like Angelina Jolie, and your hubby looks like Brad Pitt, that you are destined to be unhappy.  People are attracted to different 'types' of people.  You don't have to have Vogue or GQ beating down your door to be considered attractive.  But your significant other apparently found you attractive when you met.  It's when this standard deviates from the original by a large amount, that it becomes a problem.

     Regardless of what the other person in the relationship thinks of you, you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself and be attractive----BECAUSE YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU LOOK BETTER.  Ask anyone who knows you well to evaluate your behavior when you are dressed up or generally feeling hot, as opposed to your behavior when you're bumming around the house in an over-sized T-shirt, sweatpants, unshaven legs, no make-up, with roots showing.  I can guarantee there's a difference there.

  So, with no further ado, make a resolution for 2010 that you owe it to yourself and your relationship that you are determined to be HOT this coming year..no matter what!!  Pamper yourself, you deserve it!  Get up each morning, shave your legs, do your hair and makeup, put a hot outfit on.  You'll be ready for anything life throws at you!  Have a great 2010!!!

How To Keep A Man Interested

       I have been fielding questions all day from women wanting sex advice.  About 20% wanted advice about anal---I sent those over to Violet at The Harlot's Progress, cause she's got the goods on that. 10% had miscellaneous questions...but a whopping 70% of the questions I answered today went something like this:


     "Help!!  I don't think my man is cheating on me, but he doesn't act interested anymore and he won't have sex with me!"


     In my experience, this is such an easy thing to fix.  And if what I'm about to tell you doesn't work, more often than not (...and whether you'd like to admit it or not), there's usually a bigger problem.  If you want to WIN the game, you have to jump in and PLAY the game, and sometimes (let's admit it), love is a game.  Now if you're reading this post, I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that you've done all the things most women would do: You've talked to him about it.  You've bitched at him about it.  You've probably gotten all trussed up in your best slutwear and thrown yourself at him.  It probably didn't work, and if it did, it probably felt like a pity fuck, and it probably didn't change the situation as a whole.

     On a psychological level, you have to understand that men are by nature, hunters.  They are hardwired for the chase.  He's already caught you at this point.  He knows that.  And once they know that, sometimes they tend to be a little bit lazy.  He's got you----no effort required anymore.  He has gotten comfortable and he's taking it for granted that you'll be ready whenever he decides he wants you.  At this point, he's in a rut.  You have to nudge him out of it.  You have to rattle his cage a little bit.

     Before I give you the steps to take, I'm going to make it crystal, Windex clear here that there is one cardinal rule you CANNOT break: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DURING THIS PROCESS ARE YOU TO BRING UP SEX, THROW YOURSELF AT HIM OR TRY TO SEDUCE HIM IN ANY WAY.  HE HAS TO COME TO YOU.


     That being said, the first thing you need to do is change your appearance.  It can be a subtle change or a dramatic one--as long as it's something he'll notice.  Cut your hair differently.  Color it differently.  If you don't usually wear makeup, start wearing it.  If you do wear makeup, change it up a bit.  Wear clothes you wouldn't normally wear.  It doesn't matter.  Just make sure it looks hot and make sure it's something he'll notice.

     Next, start doing thing outside of your normal routine.  Go out with the girls---and look hot doing it.  Go to the movies without him---but look hot doing it.  Hell, go to the library or church even---but make sure it's outside the norm for you and for the love of Pete...that's right.. MAKE SURE YOU LOOK 
HOT DOING IT!!  I don't want you to actually do anything wrong, I just want you to pique his curiosity and his interest.  Make him wonder.

    Now you've got to start being a little inaccessible.  These things, combined, will put him back into "chase mode", which is exactly where you want him.  When he calls, don't answer.  Call him back, but make him wait awhile before you do.  Be "busy" sometimes.  Again, make him wonder.  Don't be the girl who sits around whining that her man isn't interested.  Don't even look like it's on your mind.  You're a precious commodity with other stuff to do.  Don't be bitchy if he asks you about it.  Be friendly and casually tell him "Oh sorry,  I was busy doing such-and-such."

     Finally, you've got to flirt with him.  This one's tricky for some women because they don't know how to flirt effectively.  REMEMBER THE CARDINAL RULE HERE!!!  I do not mean try to seduce him---don't do anything slutty or overly suggestive.  For this to work, it can't be your idea, it can't be initiated by you, and you can't force it or be obvious.  Smile at him, be witty, tease him.  Think of how you flirted with him when you just met him.  This is key.  Some of the other steps, if not combined with this one might lead him to believe that you're cheating, or being dishonest in some way.  This will let him know you still want him, BUT HE"S GOT TO CHASE YOU!

     If you combine all these steps, before too long, he should be putty in your hands.  Enjoy!!! And no matter what the result, LET ME KNOW HOW IT WORKED OUT!!!  I love helping and giving advice.  Just let me know what you need help with.




    


     

Can You Beat This?

  

      Last night I finally had some great sex after a small 3 day dry spell.  There was lots of dirty talk ( mostly from me---I felt like a dirty girl!).  It was probably because I had been over at The Harlot's Progress reading her stuff for about an hour---she's got some good stuff over there.  Anyway I came...HARD, and he was getting close.  He asked me where I wanted it, and like the dirty girl I am, I replied "My mouth, my face..ALL OVER ME!! NOW!!".  He obliged.  He came alot.  It ended up in my mouth, my face, the top of my head, and curiously enough, 4 1/2 feet away on the alarm clock (we measured).  I didn't know it could go that far!!  I thought that was rather awesome of him....Can anyone beat that?

Who I Am

     As I am just starting out blogging, I have already learned quite a bit during my experience thus far.  I should mention that I am normally a very private person.  I don't like people I don't know to know anything about me.  I don't share my business with people.  I prefer to have very few, very close friends.  I thought when I started this blog I would be able to get away with not giving anything of myself away as long as I provided practical, usable content.  I now see that that won't work.  How is anyone supposed to value my opinions if they don't know who I am?  That being said, this post will be a brief summary of who I am and where I came from.

     As a child I was always sexually curious.  I found my father's Playboys at age three and instantly knew it was something taboo, which made it exciting.  I remember hiding behind my parents cocktail bar, taking my clothes off, and pretending to pose sexily.  I always wanted to be naked, and was forever in trouble for not keeping my clothes on.  Once, on the way home from church, my mother and grandmother turned around to find me in the backseat, down to my Underoos, trying to persuade a neighborhood boy to show me his Underoos.

     I started masturbating at a young age, having stolen my father's back massager.  The first time I used it, I had what was apparently an ejaculatory orgasm.  I was convinced that I had peed on myself and it was awhile before I used it again.  Before long though, I was masturbating every time I had a spare minute alone.

     I also loved promiscuous, flashy clothes and high heels.  Any of my mother's clothes which fit the aforementioned criteria were hoarded for my own dress-up adventures.  I also loved make-up.  I embarrassed my mother many times by sneaking makeup into the car and applying it in the backseat.  By the time we reached our destination, I had applied several thick coats of fire-engine red lipstick, blush and eye-liner which no amount of Wet-Naps was going to take off.

     Despite these early signs, everyone in my family just knew I was going to be a writer, or a teacher, or a lawyer, or some other such noble profession.  My IQ is 140.  I was an avid reader from a very young age and was in mostly gifted classes in school.  I was also artistically inclined.  Several of my artworks are still hanging in the schools I attended.  Therefore, what was to come for me was a big surprise to my family.

     I met one of my lifelong best friends when I was nine.  She wouldn't let me ride her bike.  I called her a "fucking piece of shit"...and so budded a lasting friendship.  From that moment on, we spent every waking moment together.  I was either at her house, or she was at mine.  When we were 13, her perverted step-father raped me.  I won't go into it too deeply, but I had a very hard time with this until he committed suicide two years later.  After that,  I seemed to be "cured" of any dysfunction related to the incident.

     I also met my first real  boyfriend in my thirteenth year.  I lost my virginity to him when I was 14 and he was 17.  It was a very painful, unpleasant experience, but he made up for it later.  Every boyfriend I've had since then owes him a debt of gratitude.  He was both very charming, and very kinky.  He talked me into trying all sorts of new things. He ended up asking me to marry him and gave me a ring, although I really have to admit that I never intended on going through with it.  I've never really believed in paperwork, especially to do with romance. Over the three years I dated him,  we probably never had sex the same way twice.  Being with him helped to shape who I am sexually.  I am very thankful today for my relationship with him.  We ended up breaking up after three years because he thought I had slept with his friend.  I didn't.  I am and always have been an extremely loyal person.  If I say I'm with a man, then I'm with him and no one else.  The one time I've violated this rule was when I was cheated on, but we'll get to that in a bit.

     At this point my family was really starting to worry about me.  My love for promiscuous clothing had gone beyond playing dress-up.  I was constantly in trouble for dress code violations.  They have never said it, but I'm sure they thought I was one of those girls that slept with the entire basketball team.  I certainly presented myself that way.  I wasn't though.  I'm somewhat of a serial monogamist and have only slept with 7 men.

     Despite my family's high hopes for me, I made the stupid decision to drop out of school 3 weeks from graduation due to a misunderstanding about credits.  It was a problem I could have solved pretty easily, but I was young and full of steam and had the "fuck it" attitude.  Shortly thereafter, I enrolled in adult high at the local community college and thats where I met my next boyfriend.  I would spend the next 7 years with him.  I thought he was handsome...so did all the other girls at the adult high.  He wasn't very bright, matter of fact, he was borderline retarded, but he was handsome and street-smart.  He lived with one of the biggest drug dealers in the area, so he always had pot, acid, cocaine and ecstasy...at the age of 17, this was considered a perk.

     After a couple years of adventure, I ended up getting pregnant with my first child.  He worked in construction, and made good money, but he would spend it on pot all the time. I stayed home with the baby. The birth of my son forced me to grow up a bit---not the case with him, however.  He would spend the rent money on drugs and was always in and out of jail.  Finally he got injured at work and it became obvious rather quickly he would not be working again any time soon.  He was owed a Workers Compensation claim, but it would be some time before he received it.  I had never had a job.  Weeks went by, and though I put in application after application, nobody was calling back.  Finally, after hearing my plight, the next-door neighbor, a girl straight out of a Whitesnake video, said she knew where I could get a job.   She took me down to one of the local strip-clubs.  Despite my circumstances, it took me three days of hanging around the club to get up the nerve to get onstage.  But once I did that was it.  I would spend the next 10 years dancing and loving every minute of it.  The other girl's named me 'Sweetness' due to my innocence, and that's the name that stuck.

     People have asked me whether, as an intelligent woman, I regret "wasting" 10 years of my life as a stripper.  The answer has always been and always will be a resounding 'NO'.   Firstly you must understand that I loved performing.  My father was the lead singer and lead guitarist of a band and I was always onstage as a child, singing and performing with him in various bars.  So not only was I used to being onstage (albeit in a much different way), but I was also comfortable with the atmosphere.  I ended up being very good at what I did onstage because I loved doing it.  You also must remember I was predisposed to this from a very young age.

    Inasmuch, being such a brainy girl, I was incredibly naive about people...sort of socially retarded.  Despite my exhibitionist tendencies, I was painfully shy.  I had way less of a problem taking my clothes off onstage than I had with talking with the men who watched me.  When I first started, many men would buy me drinks, only to have me sit there completely silent.  I had no idea how to talk to people.  It took awhile, but I loosened up a bit.  I learned more about people, and especially the differences between women and men, and what each want and respond to, than any psychology book could've taught me.  I formed lasting friendships with some of the people and had the time of my life doing it.  I could never regret that.  I had so many wild experiences, I've often thought about writing a book about it, but that it another story, to be told another time.

     My boyfriend proposed marriage, and this time I said no.  He started pressing me to have a threesome, and I agreed.  He was pushy, however, and not selective at all.  He started hanging out up at my job and approaching all the dancers about it without my knowledge.  He told me that a girl named Silver had agreed, but this girl was nasty.  She had sores all over her body, which she claimed came from some kinky sex where another girl had burned her with a cigarette.  But I knew better.  I told him there was no way I was going down on that disease infested whore, but he was determined.  The prospect of what he wanted was right there within his grasp so he decided he was going to go for it with or without me.  He started going up to my job on my nights off and hanging out with her.  About that time, he got his Workman's Comp settlement which was just over $12,000.  He started cheating on me with her and spent all the money in less than 20 days.  After his money was gone, she left him alone.  He still wouldn't admit that he had cheated, even though it was obvious.  I cornered her in the dressing room at work, and put a very unladylike beating on her which resulted in her getting 20 stitches in her head.  I finally decided that wasn't the way to go about things and when she returned to work, pretended I was befriending her for the sake of  obtaining the proof I needed.  She told me everything.  When we got off work, I talked her into coming to my house.  We went in and he was sleeping on the couch.  We both bent over his face.  I poked him hard in the ribs.  He opened his eyes and the look on his face was priceless.  I think he thought he was having a bad dream.  He blinked and paused, then looked from me to her and back again.  I smiled and said "Boom!  I got your girlfriend!".  He looked like he was going to cry.  I spent the next three hours making fun of both him and her to their faces before kicking her out.

     My need for revenge was not sated, though.  I met a young, cute military boy at work and pretty much decided I was going to sleep with him.  To save my conscience, I broke up with my boyfriend before leaving for work one night.  But because I broke up with him for the sole purpose of fucking the military boy, I still consider this my one instance of  infidelity.  The military boy went by the name of  "Ice" if that tells you anything about him.  I did fuck him that night, and it was the worst sex I have ever had to this day...pointless rutting.  No pleasure at all came from that experience save coming home and blatantly showing off the hickies on my neck on purpose.  I  told him everything that had occurred, leaving out, of course, the fact that it had sucked.  We got back together, and everything was fine for awhile.

     We did end up having a threesome.  It was the perfect situation with the perfect girl and it went on about a year.  I met her at work although she wasn't a dancer .  She was gorgeous and decent and trustworthy.  We had some really mind-blowing times.  We would take ecstasy and fuck for hours.  It finally leveled off though as she wasn't the type to stick with a single situation, no matter how great it was, forever.  We remained friends for a long time after that.

     Eventually I couldn't handle my relationship with my boyfriend anymore.  He was constantly in jail and we moved constantly because he would spent the rent money on weed.  We broke up, he stayed in jail, and I kept dancing.

     About 6 months later, I met my next boyfriend.  He was a doorman at work.  An incredibly sexy punk with dyed bright red liberty spiked hair.  His right arm had been amputated just below the elbow in an accident and many of the sluttier girls constantly made comments to him regarding where he could stick his arm, were he so inclined.  He knew a good girl when he saw one however and soon we were dating.  Being an old fashioned stripper (hehe)  I made him wait a month before we had sex.  The sex was awesome, although he wasn't quite as adventurous as I was.  After awhile,  the things the other girls had invited him to do to them had always stuck in my mind and I asked him to fuck me with his arm.  The experience was mind blowing.  I will describe it more fully in another post, but let's just say there are certain huge perks to dating an amputee.

     Time went on, we had children together also.   I kept dancing a couple more years, but finally decided to pursue other things.  I didn't want to end up being one of those women people point at and say "She's too old to be stripping.".  I have my pride.  I wasn't close to being past my prime, but I didn't want it to sneak up on me either.  They don't have retirement plans...there's no 401k.

     After I quit dancing, our relationship sort of fell into a rut.  I had no outlet anymore.  I had projected many of the more exciting, sexy and adventurous parts of myself onto my other persona, 'Sweetness'...and now she was gone. 'Sweetness' would do this or that, but I wouldn't. I was a mother, I was a housewife.  I felt like I had lost part of myself---like there was a huge hole in my personality.  In reality, all those parts were still me, but when you express them under a different name, and only at certain times, and then you stop, it can be hard to adjust to.  I became very reclusive and depressed.  I was also very insecure.  I felt like everything sexy about me had left when I left 'Sweetness' behind.  I began to worry that he was going to cheat on me, and I began to accuse him of such with no proof at all.  This, combined with the fact that once he stopped working at the strip club, his work ethic went down the toilet, really took a toll on our relationship.  Working at the bar had been fun for him, just as it had for me, so he had no problem going to work every night.  But once that came to an end for him, he found the transition back into the real world just as hard as I did, in a different way.  He got other jobs, but he would call out all the time.  Despite my constant bitching,  the problem continued.  Finally, I took a job as a travel agent and suburban normalcy came crashing down around us.

     To put some excitement back into our relationship, I started pressing him about having a threesome. Why not?  It had worked perfectly in my last relationship...it would work in this one.  He agreed, and before too long, opportunity presented itself.  A girl from down the street began hanging out.  I knew she knew we liked her.  Before long, her boyfriend was out of the picture.  We went over to her house and one thing led to another.  It went on for a few months, we ended up staying over at her house more often than not, and the sex was great.  Only thing was, this didn't feel good or right like it did before.  There was nothing apparently wrong at first.  I couldn't put my finger on it exactly, just that something wasn't right.  I began having strange dreams.  In the dreams she was spraying something from an aerosol can into my eyes which made a cloud I couldn't see through.  In the back of my mind,  I knew what that meant.  I have always followed my intuition.  For some reason I didn't in this case.  He began picking fights with me for no reason, sitting next to her instead of next to me.  Then he started going to her house all the time for various reasons.  Finally we got into a huge fight, which she provoked--- and that was it.  He moved in with her.  I had just found out I was pregnant with our third child.

    This was more than I could take.  I felt so betrayed.  I went down to her house and told her that once I had the baby,  I would be coming for her...and I did, but she ran from me.  Doing the only thing an angry, frustrated woman can do.  I got into my Ford Explorer, drove to her house and proceeded to ram my vehicle repeatedly into her house and her car.  Now let me pause here to state, that, one cannot underestimate the therapeutic value of getting in one's vehicle and ramming it, with uninhibited abandon into some slut's house.  I estimate I saved two years time and numerous thousands of dollars in therapy doing this.  Needless to say, I went to jail...for the first time in my life.  I was put on probation.  Do I regret doing this?  I am a person who regrets very little---least of all this.  Should I have known better in the first place?  Definitely.  But I can't change the past, I can only take lessons from it.  And I have.

     After that, I spent a long time by myself.  I learned to take care of me again.  I took advantage of all the things I could never find time for. I read alot.  I went out alot.  And best of all,  I was HOT alot!!  I had fun.  I flirted.  I teased.  I never slept with anyone during that time period, but it sure wasn't for the lack of anyone else wanting to.  That was truly my best revenge of all.  LOL!!

     I started this blog as a way of helping me gain those pieces of my 'Sweetness' back.  I know a lot about sexuality, people and life in general, and my hope is to share what I know.  I hope you enjoy my posts and I hope that if you have any questions or need any advice, you feel free to let me know.  Have a sexy day!




  

Sex Toys 101

On The Subject Of Anal...

     I was reading one of my favorite blogs, The Harlot's Progress, when I came across a previous post she had made regarding Anal: How To.  I must say,  I've read a dozen books which cover how to make anal a little less uncomfortable.  None have come close to giving sound advice on the subject.  I highly recommend anyone who needs to know go read this post.  She covers it all----and it really works.

     I have had a love/hate relationship with anal since I was about 17.  My first real long-term boyfriend tried after we had been dating about 3 years.  He got it no further than the tip and I nipped that whole session in the bud.  It was excruciating pain.  I felt like I was being ripped in half and his penis was really small---like 3-inches-when-it-was-hard-small.  I never let him attempt it again.

     The next time it happened I was with my next boyfriend, whom I was with for 7 years.  He tried to talk me into it, but his penis was huge.  If the tiny one had hurt that bad, there was no way I was letting him near may ass with that monster.  About 3 years into the relationship, we started taking ecstasy occasionally.  While under the influence, I would get so carried away, I was down for anything.  We would have 6 hour long marathons and during one of these, it just seemed to happen.  I was sitting on the couch with my ass hanging off and my legs spread and in the air.  He was in between my legs.  He tried and I didn't stop him.  Wow!  What had I been missing all these years?  It felt great!  From then on I would agree to it, but only in the same position, and only when I was rolling.

     Now I've moved on.  I'm older, have a new love interest.  I hardly ever take ecstasy.  I still agree to do it sometimes, but now it's usually only when I've smoked a significant amount of pot.  It seems to relax me enough to be able to enjoy the experience.  It can be a really pleasurable experience.  I don't want to have to be under the influence of an illegal substance every time I get the urge for anal.

  I read Harlot's post and it is the magic formula---follow her instructions to the letter and it will solve all your problems.  If you've never tried it, you're missing out on what can be a yummy experience.  Most men will ask for it after a respectable amount of time in a relationship.  Give him what he wants,  you might just have the time of your sex life...

Soft, Sexy Skin How-To

      Sexy, silky skin is really not that difficult to achieve, believe it or not.  Take 5 extra minutes on your bath or shower routine and you're on your way to the skin that'll drive your man mad!  All you need is a terry bath robe, some baby oil and a good lotion, such as Thymes Body Lotion, Eucalyptus, 9.25-Ounce Bottle, but any good lotion will do.

     After your shower, do NOT dry off.  Stand in the tub, and apply your baby oil to your entire body, except your face.  Then apply the lotion to your entire body.  Put on your bathrobe and don't get dressed until you've air-dried.  That's it!!  Do this for 7 days and you'll see the results...GUARANTEED!!!!

How To Be Sexy..

Menage A Trois? Should You Have A Threesome?

     Your man brings it up at least once a month....you don't necessarily oppose the idea if the circumstances were right......soooooo....should you do it?   The pros and cons, at first glance can seem obvious, but a threesome can be a sticky situation that definitely requires a lot of thought to find out if it's right for you.  There are several points you need to think about before you take the dive.

     Firstly, how serious is your relationship?  If you're just dating, the consequences are way different than they are if you've been with your man for 10 years.  There is more at stake if the situation takes a turn for the worse.  If you're just dating, or just looking for some excitement with some friends, go for it.  It can be a very sensuous, delectable experience.  If you're in a serious relationship, the lines of communication really have to be open to make sure it's a pleasurable for all involved.  Discuss both your wants and your inhibitions in depth beforehand.

   How do you feel about it?  Are you only considering it to please him?  Are you excited by the thought and can't wait for it to happen? How far are you willing to go and what situations would make you uncomfortable?  Will you be comfortable watching him penetrate another woman?  Or are you only okay with him watching you with another girl?  The possibilities are endless, but much needs to be established beforehand.  You really must try to put yourself in the mental place of it actually happening.  Does it make you jealous? Or does it turn you on?  Both, maybe?  Get clear on what you want and expect out of the experience.

    How does he feel about it?  Does he respect your boundaries?  Is he too pushy?  Does he try to set up situations without speaking to you first?  You definitely have to take each person's personality into consideration.  Respecting one another's boundaries is a big issue.  If you decide to have a threesome with a man who is not on the same page as you, you are just asking for trouble.  A man needs to realize that you are giving him a gift, in a sense.  You trust him enough to allow another woman into your relationship.  He needs to act accordingly.  He can show his appreciation by being sensitive to your boundaries.  If you have a good experience, it just may happen again.  If he makes you feel uncomfortable, probably not.

     Once you are clear on what you and your partner want, it's time to establish some rules.  Based on what you both want, make an agreement as to what will or won't happen.  If it's their first time with two women , most men will be very excited and won't really know how to react, or what to do first.  They may make blunders that they don't necessarily know are wrong, such as paying more attention to the other woman.  Setting some rules and planning can keep these things from happening.  Once you make your position clear, he will be more attentive to your needs.  If your guy needs a basic understanding of  "The Rules", let him read Rules For A Threesome.

     Picking the right person to share in the experience is just as important as establishing the rules. It can make or break the experience.  I've been in situations where the person was right and everything was perfect, the experience was wonderful and everyone involved had fun.  I've also been in experiences with the wrong person that turned out horribly and it ended up being one of the most painful chapters of my life.  Do you already have someone in mind? The person you pick really depends on you and your partner and the circumstances.  If you're married or in a long-term relationship, you may want to consider looking for a "one-night-stand" type of situation.  By this, I mean that you don't know the person and will probably not see them again after the experience.  Or you might want to pick a person you've known for a very long time and trust completely.  If you're in a serious relationship, exploring the middle ground here seems to be where trouble can start.  If you've only known the person for a short amount of time, loyalties can be in question.  Trust your instinct.  Pay heed to any signals or apprehensions about a specific person.  Usually your instinct will be right.  If someone makes you uncomfortable at all, move on, it's not right.

  

     All in all, make sure you spend a considerable amount of time getting clear and making sure that this is exactly what you want before you do it and you will have a delectable time. xoxoxox

    

The 10 Hottest Christmas Outfits For 2009

     This year, I've searched the web high and low for the hottest Christmas costumes and lingerie. Every year they seem to get cuter and sexier. So here they are----THE naughtiest Xmas outfits of 2009. Listed below the pics are the sites where they can be purchased and the price.  Enjoy.

This one is available at Pinup Girl Clothing for only $40.80!

Perfect to cover all your naughty parts.  This one is available at PinupGirlClothing too, but I was unable to find the price.

Time for milk and cookies!  Available at  Perfect Intimate Apparel for $45.00.

Oooh!  I love this one!  It's available at Amazon.com  for $34.00!!! Isn't that a great deal?!

What I love about this one is the candy cane at the top.  Those are adorable! This is a Leg Avenue costume available at Scavenge Costumes for only $39.00.

This jumper is flamin' hot!!!  It's actually available on Ebay now.

I like the deep plunge lace-up neckline on this Christmas confection, but I would definitely pair it with some much cuter shoes.  Its available at Yandy.com for only $29.95.  For that price, you can afford cuter shoes too!

Xmas Schoolgirl Style!! Available at Pinup Girl Clothing.  It's a bit expensive at $129.00, but it is pretty awesome.

This is THE cutest elf costume I found! Available at Bruna Costumes for $59.95.

I thought this one was unique because you don't ever see Snow Woman costumes!!  The hat is too cute!! Also available at Bruna Costumes for $49.95.


Almost all of the above retailers can get your Christmas goodies to you before Christmas gets here so hurry while there's still time.  Have a nice naughty Christmas this year everyone!!!

How Do You Keep A Man From Cheating?

     There's alot of buzz going on about Tiger Woods' infidelity.  And I can definitely see why it interests so many people?  If you had to judge a book by its cover....Does he look like a cheater?  I thought Tiger was a good boy!  I never would have imagined him to be a cheater, much less to have 9 mistresses!  How could this happen?  His wife is beautiful, well-bred and elegant. Have you seen the women he cheated with?  Some of them are pretty, but none are as beautiful as Elin.  And they all have that aura of star-chasing, home-wrecking skeez.  If this can happen to such a gorgeous, seemingly normal couple, is there any hope for the rest of us?

     In my opinion, and in my experience, the only thing a girl can do is try to tip the scales in her favor.  Some men will always have a roving eye.  And some women will always have the perspective that catching a man just doesn't hold the same excitement unless he belongs to someone else.  With those cards already on the table and that being said, here are some tips to keep your man where he belongs...


     Change Your Appearance Frequently
     Most men seem to have what I refer to as Visual ADHD.  Even if a woman is drop-dead gorgeous, they tend to get bored.  They are hunters!  They constantly need new prey!  Men don't masturbate to pictures of their wives and girlfriends.  They are after that "new car smell" , as John DeVore put it so eloquently.  So, with that in mind, change it up!  Cut your hair different, dye it different colors, wear wigs, wear different clothes, buy new lingerie,work out and change your body. Invest constantly in your appearance.  It's not enough just to be pretty anymore, girls!  You have to be pretty in different ways!  If you're really brave and adventurous, play role playing games with him.  Meet at a bar and pretend you're strangers, then have a nasty, dirty "one-night stand".  

     Want Him But Don't Need Him
     Desperation is a stinky perfume!  Avoid it at all costs!  Men seem to be able to sense desperation.  As soon as they know you would do ANYTHING to keep them around, they act accordingly.  Don't depend on a man for anything. Sure, it's nice having them around, but you'll survive regardless, and they need to know that.  Don't use a man to determine your own self-worth.  Don't ever be the girl whiningly asking if he really loves you, or stalking him, or asking constantly if he's cheating on you, or worrying if he looks at another woman.  If there's hard evidence he's being shady, by all means, act on it. Otherwise, act confident.  Many men will tell you that a confident, assured woman is one of the most potent aphrodisiacs ever.


     Be A Lady In The Street But A Freak In The Bed
    This probably should have been placed first on the list, because it goes without saying...If you want someone to be loyal to you, always be loyal to them.  Don't EVER cheat . Don't be overly flirtatious with other men.  Wear sexy clothes, but make sure they're classy.  Let him know you only belong to him.  Show it.  When you're out and all the guys are checking you out and he knows it...run your fingers through his hair and whisper in his ear, hold his hand or wrap your arms around him. 
     Which brings us to... BE A FREAK IN THE BED!  Hold yourself to the station of elegant lady in public, but be a nasty tart behind closed doors.  Try new things.  Be open and curious.  Take charge and be the initiator sometimes.  Talk dirty.  Do things that will surprise him.  Wear a skirt with no panties to dinner at his parent's house.  WHATEVER!  Just keep it interesting.


     Have A Life Outside Of Him
    Have interests that don't include him.  This goes back to wanting him, but not needing him.  Don't let your entire scope of  happiness depend on your time with him.  Have friends, go out and socialize with them.  Be part of separate social networks sometimes.  Don't always be at his beck and call.  Be busy sometimes.  Let him wonder....


     Modify Your Bitchiness
    Don't read too much into that header.  We're all bitches sometimes, it comes with the territory.  They can deal with it.  However, we've all seen the woman that NEVER SHUTS UP...always bitching and whining and nagging about anything and everything.  Don't be that girl.  Pick your battles.  If he promised you two hours ago that he would take the trash out and he's still playing video games, don't go off on a 30 minute tirade about how lazy he is and you have to do everything around here, etc.  When you do this, chances are he's not even listening to you----he's just thinking about what excuse he's going to give you to get you to shut up---or it will just start a fight.  Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?  Save your breath and save yourself some trouble and just politely ask him again to do it.  Try it and see.


   Adore Him More
    I know, it's sickening.  Isn't it enough to adore him enough to read this post?  Apparently not.  Their egos are hungry, ravenous animals that demand to be fed.  They love to be told how awesome they are.  Be sincere though.  If he does a particularly good thing, praise him for it---be proud of your man.  Ask him how his day was, even if yours was horrible.  Surprise him with his favorite food.  Be caught bragging about him to your friends.  Focus on the great things about him.




    All in all, there is no way to guarantee that a man will not stray.  It all mostly depends on the type of individuals involved.  And you may try all of these things, and they may work but if you're anything like me...you can't put up an emotional front all the time.  I just gotta be me.  But if all else fails... http://www.cheatingways.com/consequences-of-cheating/the-ultimate-revenge-on-a-cheater/!!!!