On Letting Yourself Go...

         I'm doing this post by request, but I feel that it's a very relevant topic, to both men and women.  I've been guilty of it.  I'm sure many men and women have been guilty of it...letting yourself go.  I've been asked whether it was a pro or a con as far as relationships go.  The only truthful answer is " both".  When you start a relationship with someone, you want to look your best, show the best side of yourself that you possibly can.  You like this person, care about their opinions.  If they saw you at your worst, that may affect their opinion of you.  If they saw you without your makeup on or your legs shaved, they may not think of you as the enchantress you're trying to portray in order to secure their love.  Wearing makeup or shaving your legs. or face, or bleaching your mustache, or not farting or burping in front of your partner...all those things are not our natural state of being.  They are all part of a human mating ritual we do to ensure procreation and make ourselves more attractive to the opposite sex.

     When we let down our guard and cease doing these things, it is actually a sign of trust.  "I trust you to see me as I am, and love me anyway.".  In all actuality, that is a gift.  However, when you let yourself gain weight to an unhealthy degree, or cease doing thing that consist of taking care of 'you', and pampering yourself, this is where you should draw the line.

     In my last post, I made a comment regarding men "getting lazy", once they have us.  Well, we can be guilty of the same.  I know I have.  When I met my boyfriend,  I wore a different set of lingerie to bed every night, complete with heels and stockings.  Once I was sufficiently sure he wasn't going to leave me if my bra and panties didn't match, I stopped worrying about it.  If I forgot to shave, or color my roots...or if I went to bed in a mu-mu...no big deal.  He still loves me right?  Yeah,  he still loved me, but he was disenchanted with me.  He made comments that I would get dressed up to go out, but never just for him.  And so ensued a huge argument: He had "gained weight" and made no attempt to lose it, why was he picking on me?

     Eventually, we stopped arguing about it, but not much changed.  He kept the weight, I continued wearing the mu-mu, or sweatpants or whatever...then we ended up breaking up.  To some, it may not have seemed like the break up was directly related, but after much thought, I came to the conclusion that the fact that we had both gotten "too comfortable", had everything to do with it.  All the mystery had gone.  The veil had been lifted and what lay beyond was an overweight, burly faced, burping, farting douchebag and a nagging, bitching, mu-mu wearing, hairy-legged hag.  Appealing?  Not really.

  You can knock it all you want, but it's a proven fact that attractive people get all the perks.  Attractive people are more likely to get certain jobs, and more likely to get promotions within those jobs.  They are more likely to have better relationships with attractive people, who are more likely to have better paying jobs, which ensures a higher standard of living... are you beginning to see the trend here?  Most men state that they would be more likely to try harder to please an attractive person in a relationship, than an unattractive person, and vice versa with women.  I don't mean to say that unless you look like Angelina Jolie, and your hubby looks like Brad Pitt, that you are destined to be unhappy.  People are attracted to different 'types' of people.  You don't have to have Vogue or GQ beating down your door to be considered attractive.  But your significant other apparently found you attractive when you met.  It's when this standard deviates from the original by a large amount, that it becomes a problem.

     Regardless of what the other person in the relationship thinks of you, you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself and be attractive----BECAUSE YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU LOOK BETTER.  Ask anyone who knows you well to evaluate your behavior when you are dressed up or generally feeling hot, as opposed to your behavior when you're bumming around the house in an over-sized T-shirt, sweatpants, unshaven legs, no make-up, with roots showing.  I can guarantee there's a difference there.

  So, with no further ado, make a resolution for 2010 that you owe it to yourself and your relationship that you are determined to be HOT this coming year..no matter what!!  Pamper yourself, you deserve it!  Get up each morning, shave your legs, do your hair and makeup, put a hot outfit on.  You'll be ready for anything life throws at you!  Have a great 2010!!!