Your man brings it up at least once a month....you don't necessarily oppose the idea if the circumstances were right......soooooo....should you do it? The pros and cons, at first glance can seem obvious, but a threesome can be a sticky situation that definitely requires a lot of thought to find out if it's right for you. There are several points you need to think about before you take the dive.
Firstly, how serious is your relationship? If you're just dating, the consequences are way different than they are if you've been with your man for 10 years. There is more at stake if the situation takes a turn for the worse. If you're just dating, or just looking for some excitement with some friends, go for it. It can be a very sensuous, delectable experience. If you're in a serious relationship, the lines of communication really have to be open to make sure it's a pleasurable for all involved. Discuss both your wants and your inhibitions in depth beforehand.
How do you feel about it? Are you only considering it to please him? Are you excited by the thought and can't wait for it to happen? How far are you willing to go and what situations would make you uncomfortable? Will you be comfortable watching him penetrate another woman? Or are you only okay with him watching you with another girl? The possibilities are endless, but much needs to be established beforehand. You really must try to put yourself in the mental place of it actually happening. Does it make you jealous? Or does it turn you on? Both, maybe? Get clear on what you want and expect out of the experience.
How does he feel about it? Does he respect your boundaries? Is he too pushy? Does he try to set up situations without speaking to you first? You definitely have to take each person's personality into consideration. Respecting one another's boundaries is a big issue. If you decide to have a threesome with a man who is not on the same page as you, you are just asking for trouble. A man needs to realize that you are giving him a gift, in a sense. You trust him enough to allow another woman into your relationship. He needs to act accordingly. He can show his appreciation by being sensitive to your boundaries. If you have a good experience, it just may happen again. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, probably not.
Once you are clear on what you and your partner want, it's time to establish some rules. Based on what you both want, make an agreement as to what will or won't happen. If it's their first time with two women , most men will be very excited and won't really know how to react, or what to do first. They may make blunders that they don't necessarily know are wrong, such as paying more attention to the other woman. Setting some rules and planning can keep these things from happening. Once you make your position clear, he will be more attentive to your needs. If your guy needs a basic understanding of "The Rules", let him read Rules For A Threesome.
Picking the right person to share in the experience is just as important as establishing the rules. It can make or break the experience. I've been in situations where the person was right and everything was perfect, the experience was wonderful and everyone involved had fun. I've also been in experiences with the wrong person that turned out horribly and it ended up being one of the most painful chapters of my life. Do you already have someone in mind? The person you pick really depends on you and your partner and the circumstances. If you're married or in a long-term relationship, you may want to consider looking for a "one-night-stand" type of situation. By this, I mean that you don't know the person and will probably not see them again after the experience. Or you might want to pick a person you've known for a very long time and trust completely. If you're in a serious relationship, exploring the middle ground here seems to be where trouble can start. If you've only known the person for a short amount of time, loyalties can be in question. Trust your instinct. Pay heed to any signals or apprehensions about a specific person. Usually your instinct will be right. If someone makes you uncomfortable at all, move on, it's not right.
All in all, make sure you spend a considerable amount of time getting clear and making sure that this is exactly what you want before you do it and you will have a delectable time. xoxoxox
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